The Carbon Rule
Before the 3rd century BCE, the Mahabharata stated “do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.” In Confucius’s Analects, his teachings included the lesson “do not do to others what you would not like yourself.” These are just a few interpretations of what has become ‘The Golden Rule’. We have all heard of ‘The Golden Rule’: Treat others the way you want to be treated. But should that be the end-all be-all?
‘The Golden Rule’ is a guide to treating others and doing right by others, but what about treating yourself? What about doing right by you? By treating others with kindness, care, and love, we steer clear from hurting others and doing harm, but why should we not approach ourselves the same way? Crazy thought, I know.
Treat others the way you want to be treated, treat yourself the way you treat others, and treat yourself the way you want to be treated. This is what I call ‘The Carbon Rule’. Carbon is the most fundamental element on earth and, as far as we know, the entire universe. Without carbon, there is no life. Gold is rare, but carbon is essential.
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Put yourself in the shoes of others. Think about that other person. Before you do something to someone out of irrational emotion, think about how that action would affect you if they were to act the same way. If you really love someone, for example, reflect and think about something that would make you happy – whether it’s being a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a set of ears to hear, you treat those you love with...love. By doing good for others consistently, you build the habit of service and empathy, ergo making the world a, albeit slightly, better place.
Treat yourself the way you treat others. You could be the kindest person in the world and show the utmost care for others, but isn’t it hypocritical to not treat yourself with the same kindness and care? Think about how you would treat a significant other. Wouldn’t you want that person to feel safe, happy, and healthy? Well, why not pursue that for yourself? Heck, no one else can pursue it for you, only you can. That doesn’t mean you have to buy yourself chocolates and flowers everyday. It just means that you must help yourself and act towards yourself the way you would act towards a loved one. If you can treat someone else with care, you can absolutely treat yourself with care.
Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. As humans, we constantly seek for others to make us feel good about ourselves. We are so good at giving others advice, but not so great at following our own advice, let alone giving ourselves advice. We help other people solve their problems, but we avoid having to solve our own. There is no guarantee that anyone in this world will always be there for you, except yourself. Reflect on what you need most, what your most honest desires are; whether it’s to feel heard, to feel important, to feel safe, to feel loved. Think deeply about how you would ideally want to be treated by others. Now reverse it and do it for yourself.
Final Thoughts
As the world becomes crazier and crazier, it’s easy to lose our way. It’s easy to get consumed by the world, by others, and by our own craziness. This mantra, this “rule” can be applied to any and every situation we encounter. Remember, there are only 2 guarantees in life; 1 of them is that you will always have yourself.
