It’s Just All This Fucking Doubt

Musician and poet Kristian Matsson, a.k.a. The Tallest Man on Earth once said “self doubt feeds on the past and the future.”

Growing up, I was the most doubtful kid you would have ever met. I wasn’t negative or toxic (I think?), but I would constantly put myself down. My mom even nicknamed me “Can’t” because of how often I said I couldn’t do something.

“I can’t audition for the 6th grade All-County Jazz Ensemble, I’m not good enough.”

“I can’t have any friends, I’m not cool enough.”

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”

One day when I was 16 years old, I said “I can’t...” in front of my mom, and she interrupted me with “SHIV, stop saying you can’t if you haven’t even tried.”

That was the metaphorical punch in the face I didn’t know I needed. I realized that we think we know ourselves, but the only way to discover who we actually are is to put ourselves through situations in which we must act and can learn from.

I went into my room that day and contemplated my whole existence. I thought to myself, “I want to do something to prove to myself that I can do whatever I set my mind to.” This was my parents’ unofficial motto.

So at 17, I started a small cologne company with my sister. I had no intention of it becoming a full time gig. For me, it was proof that my parents were right, that the only thing truly getting in my way was my doubt.

Now, you don't have to start a company to become confident, but what you MUST do is take action. Take action to do something that makes you a little uncomfortable, unsure, or even scared.

Write that article and post it on Medium.

Strike up a conversation with a stranger.

Go to your professor's office hours and ask for feedback on an exam.

Final Thoughts

Self-doubt feeds on the past and the future, which leaves you in a realm that isn’t the present. How do you overcome self-doubt? Prove to yourself that you can do something. Anything. Because where does this self-doubt come from? Yup, yourSELF.